Most of the people I've seen who were shielded from failure don't make this distinction. They attribute it to bad luck and don't learn anything or assume they're innately terrible and never try again.
There's a fine line between teaching children to learn from failure and allowing failure to discourage them inappropriately. The solution is to walk it carefully, not stay so far away from it that people never learn to persevere.
Thanks for making this point, amongst many posts looking down upon so-called "self-esteem" culture.
I can't say if the methods being used today to give kids "self-esteem" are misguided and/or ineffective. But I can say that the entire point of true "self-esteem" is exactly so that failure is perceived as a learning experience and not a discouragement. Genuine self-esteem needs to be the backdrop, regardless of whether or not "medals and rewards for everyone" are entirely the wrong way to achieve that.
Edit: I think what I'm trying to say is that there's a difference between self-esteem and self-entitlement.
There's a fine line between teaching children to learn from failure and allowing failure to discourage them inappropriately. The solution is to walk it carefully, not stay so far away from it that people never learn to persevere.